How to Transform Worry with Simple Questions

Worry often creeps in with thoughts like, "If I think a little more about it, maybe I’ll find a solution or figure it out," or "I want to be prepared to handle any negative events." It can consume us, especially in conditions like Generalized Anxiety Disorder, where worrying overwhelms and burdens the mind (Hofmann, 2020). This constant concern about future possibilities disrupts our peace, making sleep difficult and concentration elusive, as negative thoughts loop endlessly (Hofmann, 2020).

Paradoxically, worrying can feel rational, giving us a false sense of control. We believe we can prevent bad outcomes simply by worrying, as if we are taking action, even if that action is just mental turmoil (Hofmann, 2020).

When worry becomes overwhelming, it can inflate the perceived importance of the issues we worry about. Our minds may present various misconceptions about worry, such as "I don’t want to miss anything important; I want to be ready for whatever comes my way."

Worrying also has a counterpart called rumination, which involves repeatedly dwelling on negative events from the past (Hofmann, 2020). Unlike worry, which focuses on the future, rumination fixates on past experiences. Often, excessive worrying and rumination intertwine, leading to unproductive cycles (Hofmann, 2020).

Letting go of worries can be challenging because, in some ways, they serve a purpose for us. However, it’s crucial to distinguish between reasonable concerns and obsessive, future-focused worry (Hofmann, 2020). Anxiety convinces us we have control over what might happen, but simply telling yourself to stop worrying isn’t effective. Attempts to distract or suppress these thoughts may provide temporary relief, but they tend to resurface.

Instead, I recommend identifying the type of worry you're experiencing and assessing whether it's solvable or not. Here are some helpful questions to consider:

Is the issue something you're currently dealing with?

If it's a hypothetical scenario, how likely is it to occur? Is your worry realistic or obsessive?

If you answered yes to these questions, consider the following and the corresponding next steps. We’ll talk about problem-solving and distress tolerance after you answer these questions.

If it’s a current or probable issue, can you take action or prepare for it? If so, employ problem-solving strategies. If not, use distress tolerance skills.

Is it an appropriate time to address the problem? If yes, engage in problem-solving. If not, practice distress tolerance.

Using Problem-Solving to Reduce Worry

When faced with a solvable worry, problem-solving is the recommended approach. Direct your anxious energy towards actively addressing the issue within a defined timeframe that aims for specific results (Hofmann, 2020). For example, if you're anxious about a work deadline, use this energy to plan your next steps and initiate action, rather than remaining fixated on potential failures or negative outcomes.

It’s important to note that neglecting to address and resolve issues you've identified can lead to feeling overwhelmed (Pederson, 2017). It’s essential to apply problem-solving techniques to life's challenges, as excessive reliance on distraction or distress tolerance in situations requiring action can compound worries (Pederson, 2017).

Problem-solving involves generating multiple solutions without insisting on perfection, followed by crafting an action plan focused on actionable steps (Hofmann, 2020). As you implement your plan and begin addressing the issue, your anxiety typically diminishes (Pederson, 2017).

Here is a formula to summarize the problem-solving process:

Problem Solving = Time-Limited Planning + Specific Results + Openness to Multiple Solutions

What Are My Options If a Worry is Unresolvable?

When confronted with unsolvable worries or excessive rumination, it's essential to recognize these patterns as indicators of unproductive worry (Hofmann, 2020). In such cases, you must decide whether to confront these issues directly or accept them without action. Acceptance doesn't negate the pain; instead, it involves acknowledging and embracing your emotions (Pederson, 2017). Constantly replaying scenarios in your mind may provide a fleeting sense of control but hinders genuine healing and processing (Hofmann, 2020).

Embracing your feelings marks a starting point in this process. Instead of merely seeking distractions, focus on becoming attuned to your emotions. This shift requires mindfulness and a thoughtful approach to selecting the most fitting strategy based on the present circumstances (Pederson, 2017). At times, situations unfold beyond our influence, compelling us to accept uncertainty (Pederson, 2017). By allowing yourself to acknowledge and feel emotions such as hurt and anger, you reclaim personal agency, fostering the path toward healing and progress (Pederson, 2017).

I’ve included a brief explanation of the ACCEPT skills from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT; Pederson, 2017) that can be used for unsolvable problems that you may be ruminating or worrying about and are challenging to let go. Distress tolerance skills help people deal with difficult situations or crises without making the situation worse (Pederson, 2017). This simplified version introduces tools that can be further explored in-depth through DBT resources or guidance from a qualified therapist. Practicing these skills during calm moments can enhance their effectiveness during heightened emotional states.

You can use the acronym ACCEPTS to remember and integrate these distress tolerance skills when you notice your worry spiral taking over:

  • Activities: Engage in physical and mental activities to alleviate symptoms of anxiety and depression. Create and follow a routine that incorporates mindfulness practices.

  • Contributing: Shift focus away from personal distress by contributing to others and participating in meaningful activities like volunteering or simple acts of kindness.

  • Comparisons: Gain perspective by comparing your current situation to past challenges or others facing greater difficulties. Use these comparisons to validate your experiences while maintaining self-awareness.

  • Emotions: Seek out thoughts or activities that evoke positive emotions different from your current worries or distress. Music, hobbies, or favorite pastimes can influence and manage your emotional state.

  • Push Away: Temporarily set aside distress by mentally compartmentalizing it or physically storing reminders away. Redirect your focus to other tasks or thoughts, postponing worries for a more suitable time.

  • Thoughts: Mindfully distract yourself from distressing thoughts by focusing on alternative activities like reading, puzzles, or positive affirmations. Direct your thoughts towards other distress tolerance techniques or engaging pursuits.

  • Sensations: Engage in physically stimulating activities that awaken your senses such as contrasting temperatures.

By incorporating reflection, problem-solving, or distress tolerance skills into your daily life, you can effectively manage worry and enhance your overall well-being. Embrace these strategies to foster resilience and empower yourself in navigating life's challenges.

References

Hofmann, S. G. (2020). The Anxiety Skills Workbook: Simple CBT and Mindfulness Strategies for Overcoming Anxiety, Fear, and Worry. New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

Pederson, L. (2017). The Expanded Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Training Manual, 2nd Edition: DBT for Self-Help and Individual & Group Treatment Settings. PESI Publishing & Media.

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