Addressing Parental Stress: Supportive Culture and Actionable Steps

"Raising children is sacred work. It should matter to all of us. And the health and well-being of those who are caring for our children should matter to us as well. Simply put, caregivers need care, too."

In our previous blog post, we covered the growing crisis of parental stress, as highlighted by Dr. Vivek Murthy’s advisory. The U.S. Surgeon General has raised a crucial alarm about the growing crisis of parental stress, affecting millions of families nationwide. Nearly 70% of parents believe that parenting has become more challenging compared to 20 years ago, with the rise of technology and social media being the primary reasons. This widespread daily pressure on parents underscores a broader public health crisis impacting millions of families, extending beyond individual concerns.

Parenting is naturally stressful, but managing this stress at every stage can help parents better address their own needs and those of their children, while also reducing the risk of mental health challenges. Given the increasing strain on parents today, what actionable steps can we take to address this pressing issue?

In this post, we’ll explore actionable steps and practical solutions to help alleviate parental stress and support families more effectively in today’s demanding world. While the strategies we provide offer tangible support to parents and caregivers, it’s important to recognize that these are just one piece of a larger puzzle. We understand that parents are often pressed for time and resources, and these recommendations are designed to provide immediate, practical assistance. However, it's crucial to remember that addressing the full scope of parental stress also requires broader systemic changes, including improvements in organizations, school systems, social services, and government policies. The aim here is to offer support and actionable advice while acknowledging the need for a more comprehensive approach to addressing parental stress.

Creating a Supportive Culture for Parents and Caregivers

"The stresses parents and caregivers have today are being passed to children in direct and indirect ways, impacting families and communities across America. Yet in modern society, parenting is often portrayed as a less important, less valued pursuit. Nothing could be further from the truth."

Valuing Parenting Equally

One essential cultural shift is recognizing the value of parenting. Society must begin to view parenting as equally important as paid work. Dr. Murthy eloquently observes, "First, it's time to value and respect time spent parenting on par with time spent working at a paying job, recognizing the critical importance to society of raising children. Many parents and caregivers feel undervalued for prioritizing parenting over employment—whether that means choosing to be a full-time parent or managing the many work tradeoffs involved in being an employed parent. We must recognize the importance of parenting and reflect it in how we prioritize resources, design policy, shape work environments, and approach our conversations with parents."

In the United States, parents often face challenges when choosing to prioritize parenting over career development, with many feeling undervalued. For instance, a report from the Center for American Progress highlights that the lack of support for working parents leads to increased stress and decreased job satisfaction. Adjusting how we allocate resources, design policies, and shape work environments to reflect the importance of parenting is crucial.

Shared Responsibility in Child-Rearing

While parents and caregivers have a primary role in raising children, they should not be expected to shoulder this responsibility alone. The World Health Organization emphasizes that raising healthy, educated, and fulfilled children benefits society as a whole. It’s a collective responsibility that requires societal support, including policies that invest in child health, education, and safety. For example, the introduction of paid family leave in various countries has been shown to improve child health outcomes and increase parental satisfaction.

Open Dialogue About Parenting Challenges

Discussing the stress and struggles of parenting openly is essential. For instance, financial concerns are a significant source of stress for parents, with 66% of them feeling overwhelmed by money issues compared to 39% of other adults in 2023. Yet, 57% of parents are reluctant to discuss financial issues compared to 39% of non-parents. This reluctance is significant since 58% of parents report that money causes frequent conflicts in their families, compared to 30% of non-parents. Openly discussing these and other challenges openly can help reduce shame and guilt, foster mutual support, and encourage more supportive societal attitudes and practices.

The demanding nature of modern parenting and the pressure to meet contemporary expectations for children's achievements can intensify parental stress. In a world where success and fulfillment seem increasingly out of reach, a culture of comparison—driven by influencers and online trends—establishes unrealistic benchmarks for milestones, parenting methods, and status symbols. Many families feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and perpetually behind as they strive to meet these unattainable standards. By connecting with fellow parents, participating in support groups, or sharing their experiences, parents can alleviate feelings of isolation, foster self-compassion, and build a supportive network that helps manage the pressures of modern parenting.

Combating Loneliness Among Parents

Loneliness is a significant issue for many parents, exacerbating their stress. Over half of parents report feeling isolated, according to a the advisory. To counteract this, it’s essential to create opportunities for parents and caregivers to connect, share experiences, and support each other. Building communities where parents can come together helps combat loneliness and strengthens their overall well-being.

Recommendations for Parents and Caregivers

Prioritize Self-Care

Self-care is essential for managing stress and maintaining well-being.

These effective stress management techniques can significantly impact stress levels:

• Regular exercise

• Adequate sleep

• Balanced nutrition

• Mindfulness practices

• Meditation

• Enjoyable recreational activities

While challenging, prioritizing self-care is crucial. Even brief moments dedicated to stress reduction can significantly impact well-being. Establishing healthy boundaries to make time for these activities should be viewed positively, not as a source of guilt or shame, but as crucial steps towards improving well-being for both parents and their children. Remember, perfect parenting is unattainable, so it's important to practice self-compassion and forgiveness.

Build Connections with Other Parents

Build strong connections with other parents and caregivers. Parenting is most manageable with the support of fellow parents, family, and friends. Look for or establish relationships with parents of children at various stages of development. These connections can offer a space to express your feelings, discuss concerns, and learn from others' experiences. Creating a supportive network can help alleviate parenting stress. Mental Health America provides options to connect with other parents and caregivers both locally and online.

Consider options for obtaining full insurance coverage for yourself and your family

Look into options for obtaining thorough insurance coverage for yourself and your family. Health insurance significantly benefits overall and mental health, offering security and reducing stress when health issues occur. Reliable coverage for both physical and mental health needs is crucial. For information on enrolling in Medicaid, CHIP, or a Marketplace plan, visit HealthCare.gov.

Gain Knowledge About Mental Health Care

Educate yourself using trusted mental health resources. For guidance on accessing care, treatment choices, financial support, coping strategies, and helping others find assistance, visit FindSupport.gov. Recognize when mental health issues arise and seek necessary help. Just like physical health, mental health is crucial; if you’re struggling and not improving, don’t hesitate to seek further support from peers, family, mental health professionals, or healthcare providers.

Assistance for Expecting and New Mothers

If you’re pregnant, a new mother, or supporting someone in this situation and facing mental health challenges, call or text the Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA (852-6262) for confidential, 24/7 support in English or Spanish. For immediate mental health crises, use the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline for free, multilingual, and confidential help.

 Recommendations for Family and Friends

Offer Practical Support

Increasing support can lessen the effects of stress. This can involve helping with household chores, child care, or errands. Find ways to support parents and caregivers by giving them opportunities to take breaks, attend appointments, and practice self-care. Family, friends, and community members can play a crucial role as peer supporters, assisting parents and caregivers in accessing health care and a range of resources, including parenting classes, support groups, recreational activities, and other community events that promote well-being.

Connect Regularly

Integrate parents and caregivers into your routine by scheduling weekly walks or setting up regular check-in calls. Understand that each individual experiences parenthood uniquely and may face distinct challenges, particularly during transitions like having a new baby, experiencing a divorce, losing a loved one, or starting a new job. Offer empathetic, non-judgmental support and be a consistent, reliable presence.

Learn About Mental Health Challenges

Understanding potential mental health challenges and signs of distress can help you offer appropriate support.

Watch for these potential signs of distress in parents and caregivers:

• Increased anxiety

• Persistent fatigue

• Frequent anger or irritability

• Feelings of loneliness or isolation

• Decreased work productivity

• Changes in sleep patterns

• Altered eating habits

If you notice these warning signs, offer support or help them connect with a mental health professional. Educating yourself about mental health can enhance your ability to support loved ones effectively.

Recommendations for Communities, Organizations, and Schools

Effective support for parents and families involves community-driven strategies. This includes fostering open dialogues about stress, equipping parents with essential resources, creating social connections, and enhancing school-based support programs. Engaging parents in shaping solutions ensures that support is relevant and impactful.

Foster Open Dialogue About Stress

Communities should have culturally sensitive conversations about parental stress and mental health, led by trusted leaders. Such discussions can reduce stigma and help parents address their mental health needs. Community support groups and workshops can facilitate these important conversations and provide valuable resources.

Equip Parents with Resources

It’s essential to provide parents with tools to manage stress and access support services. This includes conversation starters, advocacy tools, and guidance on managing stress and finding professional help. Parenting support groups and online counseling services can offer practical assistance.

Create Opportunities for Social Connection

Social connections play a key role in reducing stress. Communities can improve social infrastructure by redesigning public spaces and creating programs that fit parents’ schedules and needs. Initiatives like parent meetups and community events can help build supportive networks.

Amplify Parental Voices

Including parents in shaping community programs ensures their needs are met. Parent advisory groups should represent those most affected by mental health issues to create inclusive and effective programs.

Strengthen School-Based Support Programs

Schools can enhance support for parents by using existing spaces to foster social connections and collaborating with community groups and health organizations. Programs offering parenting classes and support networks can address economic and social challenges and benefit families. 

Recommendations for Health and Social Service Systems

Let’s explore how we can enhance support through our health and social services. We'll look at the importance of preventive care and regular mental health screenings, the value of community partnerships, and the benefits of integrating mental health with primary care. We’ll also discuss the need for tailored support for those most in need.

Prioritize Preventive Care

Health systems should focus on preventive care, including stress management and trauma-informed approaches. Regular wellness and pediatric visits can provide essential support for parents, helping to identify and manage stress and mental health issues early.

Screen for Mental Health Conditions

Routine mental health screenings should be part of primary care and prenatal/postpartum visits, as well as child well-visits. Early detection and intervention, as recommended by the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force, can significantly enhance mental health outcomes.

Foster Community Partnerships

Health professionals should collaborate with community organizations to address economic and social needs. Social prescribing can connect individuals to community resources, reducing loneliness and improving support through local partnerships.

Recognize High-Risk Populations

Attention should be given to parents and caregivers at higher risk for mental health issues, including marginalized groups and those with children with special needs. Tailoring support to these populations ensures more effective and equitable assistance.

Support Collaborative Care Models

Integrating primary care with mental health services can improve care. This includes family therapy, behavioral health integration, and partnerships with social workers and peer support specialists, enhancing the accessibility and effectiveness of mental health services.

Recommendations for Employers

Enhance Workplace Support for Parents

Employers should improve support for parents by offering paid parental leave, flexible work hours, and childcare access. Training managers in stress management and work-life balance can further benefit employees. Research shows that workplace flexibility boosts satisfaction and reduces stress.

Provide Access to Mental Health Care

Employers should include comprehensive mental health coverage in health insurance plans. Confidential counseling through Employee Wellness Programs (EWPs) and Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) helps employees manage stress and enhances overall well-being.

Recommendation for Government

Supporting parents effectively requires targeted actions from government bodies. Here are some essential recommendations for improving support and resources:

Increase Support Program Funding

Governments should boost funding for family support programs, such as child care and universal preschool. Quality early education has long-term benefits, enhancing academic and social outcomes.

Implement Paid Family and Medical Leave

A national paid family and medical leave program is crucial for helping employees manage family or medical needs. Paid leave improves family health and reduces stress, in contrast to the unpaid leave provided by the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA).

Develop Local Community Spaces

Investing in community spaces, like parks and centers, can enhance social connections and support for parents. Well-developed community infrastructure leads to better social cohesion and less isolation.

Address Economic and Social Barriers

Efforts to reduce poverty and improve access to essential services are vital for family well-being. Programs such as TANF, CHIP, Medicaid, SNAP, and WIC play a crucial role in supporting families.

Expand Access to Mental Health Care

Access to affordable mental health care must be improved, including better insurance coverage, telehealth options, and a larger mental health workforce. The need for extensive mental health services is emphasized by the National Alliance on Mental Illness.

Enhance Reentry Programs

Supporting reentry programs for incarcerated parents is essential for their successful reintegration. Programs that address skills, substance use, housing, and employment needs help reduce recidivism and stabilize families.

Addressing parental stress requires a multifaceted approach, encompassing cultural shifts, community support, and systemic changes. While individual actions, such as prioritizing self-care and building supportive networks, are crucial, broader systemic improvements are also necessary to create a more supportive environment for parents. By implementing these recommendations, we can collectively work towards a culture that values and supports parenting, ultimately improving the well-being of families and reducing stress for parents. Creating a supportive culture, enhancing resources, and advocating for systemic change are essential steps toward a more equitable and compassionate society.

For those interested in exploring the full details, you can read the entire Surgeon General’s advisory online at https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/parents-under-pressure.pdf