How to Deal with Election Stress & Anxiety

The post-election period can bring up all kinds of emotions—stress, frustration, exhaustion—you name it. You might find yourself feeling uneasy, disappointed, or even a bit lost. Wondering about what’s next, feeling unsettled…these are all completely normal reactions in times like these. And here’s where self-compassion can be such a powerful ally. It’s not just about comforting ourselves; it’s about finding a way to regain balance and move forward with purpose and resilience.

So, how does self-compassion actually work during emotionally charged times? It all comes down to three main elements: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. Each plays a unique role in helping us stay grounded, connected, and resilient.

Understanding Self-Compassion: The Basics

Self-compassion involves more than just being gentle with ourselves; it’s about building the resilience needed to navigate life’s challenges. By integrating self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness, we stay grounded, connected, and equipped to handle emotional difficulties (Neff, 2009). This approach has both gentle and empowering aspects, combining tender, comforting actions with bold steps that support our well-being.

• Self-Kindness: Treat yourself as kindly as you would a friend. In difficult moments, self-kindness encourages understanding over self-criticism (Neff, 2009).

• Common Humanity: Remembering that others share similar experiences can ease feelings of isolation (Neff, 2009).

• Mindfulness: Observing your feelings without judgment helps you stay present and open to healing (Neff, 2009).

Together, these three components—self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness—make self-compassion a powerful tool for navigating challenges. Self-compassion can take two forms: a gentle, comforting approach (tender self-compassion) or a bold, action-oriented one (fierce self-compassion), each helping to build resilience in its own way.

Practicing Tender Self-Compassion in Challenging Times

What would it look like if you treated yourself with the same kindness you offer a close friend or loved one? According to Kristen Neff and Christopher Germer (2024), tender self-compassion means showing ourselves the same care and understanding that we instinctively give to others. It’s the gentle presence we offer when a friend is grieving or the unconditional support we extend to a child in need. Tender self-compassion encourages us to nurture ourselves during emotional difficulties, just as a caring parent comforts a child (Neff & Germer, 2024).

After intense events, like an election season, feelings of frustration, exhaustion, or anxiety about the future are common, especially if the outcome isn’t what you’d hoped for. Tender self-compassion becomes a valuable tool in these times, allowing us to acknowledge and care for these difficult emotions rather than becoming consumed by them (Neff & Germer, 2024).

One way to cultivate self-compassion is through mindfulness—taking a moment to observe your emotions without judgment. Acknowledging, “This is hard. I feel drained, or I feel hopeful,” allows you to hold space for your emotions, validating them as part of the human experience (Neff & Germer, 2024). By simply naming your feelings—“I feel sad,” “I’m exhausted,” or “I’m unsure”—you create a compassionate space that honors your reality.

After recognizing your emotions, consider what might help you feel supported right now. This could be a moment of stillness, connecting with someone who understands, or a small act of self-care, like preparing a favorite meal, taking a walk, or resting with a good book. Small, intentional acts of care can significantly restore peace and balance during stressful times (Neff & Germer, 2024).

Tender self-compassion also means forgiving ourselves when we feel we’ve fallen short. It’s natural to experience self-doubt or even self-blame in challenging times, perhaps wondering if we could have done more. Yet self-compassion encourages us to release these judgments, remembering that we did our best with what we had. It reminds us that we don’t have to be perfect to deserve care—self-compassion allows us to embrace our imperfections without shame (Neff & Germer, 2024).

Fierce Self-Compassion: Courageous Action

Fierce self-compassion is like a “mama bear” instinct that rises to protect our values, needs, and mental health (Neff & Germer, 2024). In emotionally charged situations, this form of self-compassion empowers us to take action in support of our well-being, even when it’s challenging. For example, if media exposure heightens stress, fierce self-compassion might encourage us to take a break from it and instead engage in conversations that align with our principles (Neff & Germer, 2024).

This approach also embraces emotions like anger and frustration as potential forces for positive change, redirecting them away from bitterness and toward constructive action (Neff & Germer, 2024). Following an emotionally intense event, fierce self-compassion can inspire involvement in community work or policy initiatives that reflect our values (Neff & Germer, 2024).

Additionally, fierce self-compassion emphasizes setting boundaries to protect our emotional energy (Neff & Germer, 2024). After taxing events, it’s essential to preserve our well-being by practicing self-care and giving ourselves permission to say “no” when needed, allowing us to focus on what truly matters (Neff & Germer, 2024).

Integrating Tender and Fierce Self-Compassion

What happens when you balance nurturing care with courageous action? Resilience lies in integrating tender and fierce self-compassion, both essential for navigating emotional challenges (Neff & Germer, 2024). One key aspect of this integration is asking ourselves important questions (Neff & Germer, 2024):

1)      "Where do I need self-acceptance?"

2)     "Where do I need to take action to protect my values or emotional health?"

For example, if the aftermath of an election leaves you emotionally drained, tender self-compassion might lead you to rest, practice mindfulness, or spend time with loved ones. On the other hand, fierce self-compassion could inspire you to channel your emotions into meaningful action. This balance helps us avoid getting stuck in overwhelm or apathy, providing the emotional strength to move forward with clarity and purpose (Neff & Germer, 2024).

Practical Ways to Cultivate Both Forms of Self-Compassion

1. Mindful Acknowledgment of Emotions: Start by recognizing what you’re feeling. Are you anxious, frustrated, or hopeful? Taking a few moments to acknowledge your emotions without judgment fosters tender self-compassion.

2. Self-Care Practices: True self-care means responding to your mind and body’s needs, especially during tough times (Neff & Germer, 2024). While “self-care” is often portrayed as a list of tasks, it’s about how we show up for ourselves in meaningful ways. This might mean finding small moments to slow down, nourish yourself, or simply take a break. For example, enjoying a meal that makes you feel good, going for a quiet walk, or resting can be deeply restorative acts.

Self-care isn’t about adding more to your plate; it’s about attending to yourself in ways that feel genuine and nourishing. Consider asking, “What do I need right now?” It may be a conversation with a friend, a pause to breathe, or simply allowing yourself to rest after a stressful period. Engaging in activities that truly replenish your energy can help restore emotional balance.

3. Take Purposeful Action: Fierce self-compassion calls for intentional actions that align with your values, not just staying busy (Neff & Germer, 2024). This might mean engaging in activism or advocacy or setting aside time to volunteer. Rather than pushing yourself to the limit, focus on actions that strengthen your sense of purpose and protect your mental well-being.

4. Set Boundaries: After emotionally charged events, it’s easy to overextend yourself. Setting boundaries—whether by limiting media exposure or stepping away from stressful conversations—helps preserve your energy and maintain focus on what truly matters to you (Neff & Germer, 2024).

5. Seek Support: Both forms of self-compassion are enhanced by connection. Reaching out to friends, family, or mental health professionals can provide valuable perspective, support, and encouragement during difficult times (Neff & Germer, 2024).

Embracing Both Sides of Self-Compassion for Resilience

Balancing tender and fierce self-compassion create a resilient framework for navigating challenges. Tender self-compassion gives us permission to slow down and care for ourselves gently, while fierce self-compassion encourages us to take action and protect our well-being. This dual approach lets us fully experience emotions without judgment while moving forward with intention and purpose (Neff & Germer, 2024). Together, they help us find clarity and strength, empowering us to thrive even during difficult times.